The Mouse's Tale
by Hinotori-hime
Summary: Yuki's past. This is NOT canon.


_dark_

_dark_

_pain smell of blood help please niisan mommy anyone_

_useless_

_unneeded_

_dark_

_dark_

_sweet sickly stench of copper in mouth in nose on hands_

_dark_

"So, Yuki-kun."

"What?" Shigure's eyes were twinkling behind his glasses.

"Are you planning anything for today?"

Yuki flushed. "No, I'm not," he said coldly, trying to telepathically send the message Don't even.

Tohru looked confused. "What's going on?" Shigure's eyes sparkled even more.

"Why, today is a very important day for this family!"

("We're not a family," Kyo growled.)

"What? I had no idea! What happened?" Tohru squeaked in alarm.

"Why, it's –"

"It's Shigure being stupid," Yuki said, even more coldly, blowing on his stinging palm. "Don't listen to him, Miss Honda. It's nothing you need to worry about. I'm finished." He pushed his chair back and went into the living room, where he sat down heavily. Stupid dog.

"Why'd you hit me?" Shigure whined from the doorway. His hand barely covered a huge red welt on his cheekbone.

"Why did you have to go and bring that up?"

"I would have thought you'd want to celebrate. Four years to the day since you came here." For once his voice sounded frank rather than teasing.

"I'd rather pretend I've lived here forever."

"You celebrated last year." There was a pause; then Shigure said shrewdly, "This is about Tohru-kun, isn't it?"

Yuki sagged. "She'd just worry. She doesn't know, Shigure. I'd rather keep it that way."

"But your dreams-"

"She knows I have them. I've never told her what they're about." He buried his face in his hands. "They've been getting worse."

He felt the couch shift as Shigure sat down. "Are they really that bad?" Gentle. Almost fatherly, the way his voice had sounded for a year afterward.

"Yes… yes…you have no idea…" The pain thickened his voice, and he looked up with haunted eyes. "Shigure. You – you saved me. And I'll always be grateful for that. But please…. please…"

_Please._

yu ki

yu ki

_what is _yu ki _dry whispered sounds falling_

yu ki

yu ki

wa ka ru no it te ku da sa I wa ta shi da ha ru

_meaningless sounds go away go away_

_hurts_

_soft restful whiteness_

_long soft jasmine darkness strands not bad darkness of room good darkness merciful oblivion_

_pain_

_dark_

_sounds leave alone again pain huddled on floor_

_dark_

_dark_

_cracking sound more pain oh please stop stop stop stop stop stop_

_broken_

_gentle sounds_

_light this is light_

_hurts_

_blind_

yu ki yu ki yu ki yu ki yu ki yu ki yu ki yu ki yu ki

yu ki _ is broken pain huddled on floor_

me?

yuki

shi gu re da bo ku wa i to ko

shi gu re shi gu re

shigure _is soft_ _gentle sounds_

_fuzzy grey shining blur begins to form_

_light doesn't hurt as much_

_sounds are words?_

wa ka ru ka

wakaru ka

can you understand me

_long buried meanings dredging up words nt sounds_

_how to say yes_

_nod_

wa ka ru yo kat ta

wakaru yokatta

you understand that's good

yu ki _ is "me"_

"_i" am "yuki"_

_i understand now_

_the words i've waited so long to hear_

do you want to leave

_leave_

_want to leave_

do you want to live with me

_nod_

_nod_

_yes oh yes i do get me out of here_

_no no!_

_don't leave don't leave don't turn and walk away_

_if i stay here i'll die i'll plunge back into insanity_

i need to hear it

_nod_

_nod_

no that won't work say it

_i can't the word won't come_

just one word show me how badly you want to leave

_i can't_

_at least try_

_try_

_try_

_yes yes i want to leave_

_walking away don't leave me here lunge grab hem of robes_

ha

_stops turns back_

_hope blossoms for first time in how long has it been_

ha i

_the dam breaks_

dashite koko kara dashite

_gentle hand on mine_

_legs weak_

_fall_

_lifted by slender arms_

_curl into man who saved me_

_I don't want to let go but I must when we reach the car_

_for the first time in how long has it been I see the sunlight_

_red gold leaves twisting down to the ground_

_crisp clean smokey scent_

_I turn to Shigure_

ki re i

yes _he says _it's beautiful

**That was very hard. I was sitting there the whole time going, "No capitals! You're not allowed to use capitals or periods!" (Although I guess that's a good thing?)**

**Translations for those who don't speak Japanese (if you do, feel free to correct me):**

**Wakaru no? Itte kudasai. Watashi da. Haru.**

**Do you understand me? Please, say something. It's me, Haru.**

**Shigure da. Boku wa itoko.**

**I'm Shigure, your cousin.**

**Hai.**

**Yes.**

**Koko kara dashite.**

**Take me away from here.**

**Kirei.**

**It's pretty.**

**-Yasumi**


End file.
